Rummaging in the Darkness

If someone were to point to a deep, dark, cold hole in the ground and tell you to jump in with nothing except one solitary match and say "don't use it until you've found something in there to light it with and keep it ablaze," what would your response be?

When confronting any trauma it has been said that the best way to overcome it is to look it directly in the eye and face it with no fear. When letting go of the past one has been told that one must first focus on what must be let go of, feel it very deeply, forgive and then let go. After, one is then free to move forward with nothing hindering progression or growth. Sometimes a lot of what holds a person back is their inability to let go past traumatic situations, whether they are conscious of it or not. I suppose in order to transform it is best to wrap your beautiful ugly into a cocoon and remain still, in the darkness, until nature permits you to exit your shell with exquisite wings, free to fly.

And so here we are. I am prepared to wrap my beautiful ugly into a cocoon, jump into the dark hole with the single solitary match and be still until there is something that can keep the light ablaze long enough for me to find my way out and spread my wings.

It starts long before I was born, but that story would be ridiculous for me to try to narrate as I don't have all the details and I'm sure I never will. I will try as best to recount the events of my childhood in a chronological order, but as I attempt to lift the haze and break down years of hardened molten lava encompassing solid, concrete walls, there may be memories that float up unannounced. So the order of these may be jumbled, but then such are the memories of life...