Thursday, March 3, 2011

Saturday, February 19, 2011

If I could...

If I could crawl into a little hole and hide, I would.
I would turn into a turtle so I could duck my head into my shell and hide from the world.
Perhaps I would fly up really high and stay afloat in space never to come down.
I feel awful and ashamed.
I'm so sorry for causing you pain.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Valentine's Day

It's about being with the ones that you love. It's about chocolate and romance.
It's about whatever you want it to be about. Some people celebrate their birthdays. Some people don't do anything. Whatever it is you do, make sure that you remember the most important thing is Love. Love yourself.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Time makes the heart grow fonder

Even when you're 50 I'll still be in your life. I love you now. I loved you then. I will love you always.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

the life and death of the rollercoaster

this is winter. pointilism by mai

I rode a wave today.
Not too long ago I thought about dying.
People are afraid of that word. I used to be.
But I've played around with the thought of it since I was 6. Or 7.
We look at children these days and we think they are so young.
They don't know better.
True, in some cases. But most often there is a very special intelligence in their minds.
We lose it when we become adults.
It gets lost in our life patterns and in our day to day routines.
I played with the thought of death because I like to imagine what it's like.
What it's like not to worry about making money.
What its like not to think about if we're going to make our dreams come true.
What it's like not to think about living.
Or people.
Or caring.
Or all of that which makes us human.
When I think about being human I admit, I get angry. Occasionally.
This is the low part of the rollercoaster.
And I enjoy it all the same.
I think about death when I want to throw away my cares, my ambitions and my passions.
It's not physical death, just mind death.
Meditation. Call it what you want.
We're all here for a purpose.
We're all here to ride our own rollercoaster.
I enjoy thinking about when I can get off mine.
And float around. Empty.
I'd miss everything though.
The feelings. The moments. The sunset.
Although, I suppose, I'd miss them dead or alive.
I'd be missing them because they would be gone.
And it wouldn't matter then.
Because they are gone.
Don't you see how beautiful this ride is?

So the wave I rode not too long ago... it passed, as usual.
I noticed it better this time.
I witnessed the life and death of the rollercoaster.
I loved it because I can.