Thursday, December 30, 2010

2K11 we're working on a mission...

 Hi everyone. Thank you for the continuous support. I've been slacking on the blogging, but I wanted to let everyone know that I am working hard to set up my business so I can do my art full-time and with the help of an angel sent to me from heaven: my girl friend Stephanie Pecho, we are working towards making DLG (DreamLoveGrow) a registered charitable organization so we can help children full-time too.

I've had enough of thinking about making my dreams come true, this year I'm going to give my heart and soul to making them come true, for me and for as many people and children that I can.

Not only is Stephanie helping, but I'm working with the Rhema Creatives, a group of dentists and doctors and musicians in Cebu, Philippines. With their help I am finding a way to give back to my country that I so graciously left at a young age. These amazing individuals already bring outreach programs to many, many communities and we're trying to help them achieve this together and on a slightly larger scale.

Our objectives and goals are geared towards bringing positivity and light to underprivileged children and communities with our creative and environmental outreach programs, as well as free dental and health care for the children and the elderly.

We have long-term objectives: an environmentally friendly CREATIVE LOVE MOBILE and a self-sustainable art center that provides a safe learning environment for children.

For more information, please visit our Group page:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7366056061

The truth is, I don't know how much good I can do in this world, but all I know is I have people in my life that are willing to help and support me and I am so grateful and so very truly blessed.
 

Friday, December 24, 2010

my grandma margaret

I've spent the past two days with my grandma after a year of being away. I've always been impressed by her never ending ability to create and her unsurpassed energy. At 90 her mind is as sharp as a whistle and she manages to keep her calendar marked full of social events that even I have trouble keeping up with. Her mental energy and her physical energy out weigh any person I know my age. The things that she keeps herself busy with, from knitting, quilting, baking, gardening, mixing concrete for stepping stones, painting and dancing, is impressive. I only hope to learn from her all of these skills that she's kept up with for so many years.

We had a long chat last night as she sat at the foot of my bed and just like school girls we talked about boys, love and stressful relationships. Within the past 3 months she has managed to acquire 1 younger boyfriend who can dance with her all night and then another also younger gentlemen who drives her around, mixes her beer and tomato juice and kisses her goodnight when they part ways. She grins at me when she talks about him and I can almost feel her heart beat a little faster. She tells me how the two men are best friends and she met the second one through the first one. When I ask her if the first one minds her dating his best friend after, she says, 'Oh no! I still go out dancing with the first one, but this new guy...(she has a twinkle in her eye) he's really just so kind." She stops a minute looks at me with another big grin and says, " But I can have my cake and eat it too!" She laughs and I laugh and I look at her in amazement. "I really lucked out," she said. And I think so too, but so did he. Anyone with my grandma for a girlfriend really has a woman that will keep them on their toes but will love the hell out of you. She asks me what I think of him and I tell her, "I really like him grandma, he's a keeper!" She smiles and hugs me.

Maybe I'm just a sucker for love, but listening to her talk inspires me to know that if I never find a "keeper" now, then at least at her age I can.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

wrapping presents...

I'm in my basement putting together packages for the Shepperds of Good Hope. This is the third year that around Christmas I wrap gifts to bring to the shelter. A client of mine told me about it. I used to colour her hair and she told me one year of this. The Shepperds of Good Hope has this little gift-giving program. It's for people that can't always afford to purchase presents for their family. So the Shepperds of Good Hope asks people like you and I to donate what you can and wrap each item in clear wrapping paper so that people can come in and pick and choose the gifts that they want or the gifts that they will give. The past two years I've donated any leftover inventory from my art or clothing that I've created. This year I've been away in the Philippines and coming back I realized I have so many items I never missed while I was away. So I've been rummaging through everything and wrapping that which I do not need. I really don't need a lot.

So, while I'm not really one on forced gift-giving and commercial holidays, I do believe that this time of year is about giving and spending. Giving what you can whether it be love, hugs or kisses and spending time with loved ones, family and friends.

I should go back to wrapping the rest of those presents now. I'll most likely finish the rest in the morning. A friend of mine is kind enough to pick me up and take me to the shelter to donate the presents.

Happy holidays everyone. Love always and often.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Cultural Experience

I'm going to reminisce today. I'm going to go back to the beginning of the year and tell you what it was like to be back in my country to live after leaving almost 20 years ago. Not only to live, but to work. In a very small area I was surrounded by both worlds, jumping head first into shock. I can tell you that I learned a lot. When I try to explain this, of course it's difficult. I guess the best way I can explain it is this.

Picture yourself, this scared but determined city person with a hippy side, that has flown across the world to go explore the jungle as soon as you get off the plane. You bring nothing with you but a group of strangers that you've never met before. In fact, you really didn't think these strangers were coming with you. You thought you were on this spiritual quest by yourself, but they decided they were all coming along for the ride. When you get off the plane, you walk into the jungle and you think you know where you're going. You soon realize you don't and neither do these strangers. So you're in the jungle and you're thinking firstly shelter, food and water. It is hard to find water in the jungle. This is what you're thinking but all these strangers around you are so loud that it's so hard to hear yourself. All they are doing is complaining. Some are drunk, some are extremely rude and some are just walking through that jungle with no care for anything else around them. After a while you want to kill these people but you don't want to be left alone in the jungle. So you put up with it.

As you keep walking you encounter a village. For some reason these people here know you. And only you. They tell you that you're part of the family and they have been waiting for so long for you to come home. You look around at all the adults and the children. Some expect you to hug them, some just stare and most of the kids come running towards you. You can understand them, but none of the strangers that are with you can, so they huddle together. You feel like you're at home in a strange environment surrounded by strangers even though you culturally don't fit in. It makes you feel good because they seem to love you despite not really knowing you. They also seem to love the strangers regardless of their behaviour and how they swear all the time. You're amazed that all they can do is point at things that are "weird" or "different" and wonder where the toilet is, or the shower, or the hot water, or the lavish homes. And you, you don't really care about any of these things because you feel comfortable and you just want to get to know this family. Eventually the strangers that you're with get bored. They eat everything, make a mess and complain about wanting to go on into the jungle.. so you bid your farewells and move along with them, promising your new family you'll be back. You have a connection with them that you just don't understand, but you feel good about it.

So not too long after that you arrive in this big clearing with the largest mansion type building you've ever seen. It's literally 5 minutes away from where you just were and you're wondering how strange it is to have this tall looming building in the middle of the jungle. You feel like it's out of place. So you go into it and it has everything you've ever wanted and everything you can dream of. The strangers with you are so happy and they run to everything because they are so excited. It has all the amazing foods from the western world you just left and all the technology and more. The people that live in this world are happy here spending all their money on expensive items, expensive foods, material items and drugs and alcohol. You think to yourself, ah, it's just the same here as it is in the West.

You watch everyone around you appalled, but it's hard not to get sucked in. So you live this lifestyle with them all the while a little part of you is still wondering about the jungle and world that is around you. You forget that you can speak the language. You forget that you came to this world to explore the jungle. You become exactly like the strangers. Eventually you become friends with them and form a close bond, but you're always wondering about the family out there in the jungle. You work every day for less than what you would make back in the Western world, but you convince yourself you're happy. You try to make up for it by traveling to other islands for a day or two doing seeing tourist attractions and feeling like that meant you really "saw" the place. You work and drink and work and buy. Eventually you become stressed out and you don't know what you want anymore. You contract this life threatening disease and as you're lying there not knowing if you'll survive or die, you begin to think about all the important things to you. What makes you happy. What your goals are in life. You remember those children and slowly as you regain your strength, you remember what you came here for.

You're at full strength now and you go back to work. But this time you're floating around the same friends and observing their lavish lifestyle instead of participating. You know you've had enough of it and decide to leave and go back into the jungle. You find your family and spend time with the children. You visit other villages that are the same. You visit orphanages and institutions for under-privileged children. You have this connection with children that is unexplainable because you know what it's like not to be loved as a child. So you want to just love them. You get to know them and you play with them and you realize what little they have that makes them happy. You see their faces when they are together and the love they bring each other. You look at the families and you see how supportive this community is of each other and their struggles. They are a team of survivors. They don't eat the western world food and they don't buy anything more than they can consume in one day. They have insane imaginations and they work very hard to provide for their families. At the end of the day they relax and talk with each other. They sing and dance and they fall asleep next to each other. They understand love.

You notice there are a few that go back and forth between the large mansion and their village. They do business with each other and you can see how it benefits the village. You watch as it helps to grow the community, but then you see also how they are getting exploited and taken advantage of. The balance between giving and taking is not level. The village gives more, when it has not as much to give. This makes you sad, but you accept that it is how the world works. The poor are always the ones to pay for the rich, but the rich are never happy.

You decide you need to continue on in the jungle. You learn about another community that lives with garbage and you decide to go find them. You take everything you can with you, everything you own and bring it to the landfill. You see the state of the families that live there and you walk over to each one and you give them something. You look at them in the eyes and you study their faces. All of them smile at you. They seem happy. You wonder if they knew another way, would they still be happy but they don't care about what other people have. They just know what they have to do. They don't go visit the other communities. They make a living this way, collecting paper, plastic and bottles. You learn they want the same thing as every one else: food, shelter, education and love. You realize they don't ask for anything from you, but you see how they have nothing. They are sick from all the garbage but they don't even ask you for help. All the children still play. They play as they work and they take care of each other. They smile at you and show you around their homes. It makes you cry. A lot. And you have no idea why. You have to go, but you promise you'll be back.

As you walk back through the jungle, you turn around and see all three communities beside each other. You see three very different worlds. You see the world that has everything, consumes everything, wants everything and more of everything and that has access to food, shelter, education and health care at any time. You see how they take it for granted. You see the world that lives modestly and humbly and can afford these things through strict discipline and a willingness to provide for each other and love each other. You see how they thank God for everything they have. You see the world that has nothing at all except each other, but you see their strength and their happiness. You realize both of those "lesser" worlds combined are in actuality, wealthier than the people that live in that large mansion. You realize all these worlds need to coexist in order to exist. You realize that you are a part of all these worlds and sadly, none of them will ever meet on the same level and the same understanding.

Your strangers that you came with... they came for the entertainment, the luxury, the experience of being somewhere new and having fun and getting the most out of this place as they can. You, you came for the people, the place and the life. The experience came with it, but you wanted a better understanding of yourself and the world. You got it now and you will never again feel the same towards anyone or anything. Neither worlds you came from will ever look the same to you. It is sad because you continue to feel alienated because you feel different every where you go, but at the same time you feel that you are more connected with everyone then ever before. You appreciate the fact that everywhere you go, everyone is doing the same thing but just in their own way... even deep in the jungle on the other side of the world.

The West met the East where the East was born, and the East will meet the West again, reborn.

Monday, December 13, 2010

YouTube

I admit I am addicted to YouTube... who isn't? But the reason why I love it so much is because it's every day people, like you and I, that get together to make something. Anything! We are in a world of entertainment and if you can't beat them, join them. Make your own art. Make your own videos.

Here are just a few of the channels I love and a few clips from them.

The Station:




My roommate the...




Mystery Guitar Man... I heart him.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

paper cuts

It's not always important to think about love.
Sometimes the people you think would never crush you -
They do
Unknowingly they can take a dream and crush it.
Perhaps it was only meant to be a fantasy.
It can never be reality.
I can't take the pain.
We were never meant to be together.

Your views aren't my views
Your love isn't love
Not the kind I'm trying to grow
Your heart is a cage.
It's a cage.
You cut me like paper
Because you're never there.

I suppose it's the only way I can think
You run across my mind
The temptation I find is darkness
But you'll bury me with you
And I want to breathe.

Your views aren't my views
Your love isn't love
Not the kind I'm trying to grow
Your heart is a cage.
It's a cage.
You cut me like paper
Because you're never there.

I remove my mask now
These days I am who I am
I feel a discomfort
when you stare me in the face
I love you for you
But I hate you for you

It's just a dream
Better played out than lived out
I can't see the future
Where you're in it

Your views aren't my views
Your love isn't love
Not the kind I'm trying to grow
Your heart is a cage.
It's a cage.
You cut me like paper
Because you're never there.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

waka waka

I need to learn how to become a better singer.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

mailyne is not marilyn

I have completed my website portfolio after almost 3 days of endless hours plugging away information.

You can see the final product: www.mailyne.com

Now it's just about driving traffic there and getting Google to recognize that I am Mailyne, not Marilyn.

If you've made a visit, thank you and if you have yet to, please do and let me know what you think.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

the beauty of where I was and the beauty of where I am now...

Coming back to Canada was a shock in many ways, both good and bad.
At first I was going to tell you about all the things I hated and all the things I miss about the Philippines, but I can't. The worlds are so different that there is just no comparison. There are too many things here that I equally love over there. There are many things that frustrate me here, that frustrate me over there. There are things that I can accomplish here that I can over there. There is no difference.

But why are we so consumed with the idea of consuming here in Canada and the western world in general? Why are we so comfortable with the idea of making money, getting that paycheck and then going home to watch Glee or drink ourselves stupid at the bar? Why is it that material objects are so appealing to us?  And then we spread it like a disease to parts of the world that don't even know what a map looks like. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to hear how much people buy whether for themselves or for their loved ones. As if buying it is the only way to show they love themselves or each other. I don't deny I buy things too. I can get caught up in the stream. My line of thinking goes a little like this: I'd like that camera so I can shoot videos with people. It's a really nice camera. I'd like that camera to take pictures of people and scenery so then I can blow it up big and put it on my wall.. or paint it. I'd like that printer so that I can print those pictures myself at any time I want without leaving the house. I'd like that apartment so that I can set up my studio so that I can take pictures, make video and print things whenever I want and not have to leave the house.

I'd like...

I realize money isn't everything, but it is a tool to achieve what I want. I like to be creative and unfortunately in this world it requires money to be creative. Unfortunately in this world what they market to me to be creative... wins. But it's not so bad when you understand it. You aren't in control. The media is. The T.V. is. The internet is. You are told what to buy, sell, eat, wear.. etc.
I understand all of this from taking small business and learning about advertising and marketing.

Well, the funny thing is.. I need all of that too. The simple truth, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
So I am. I am in search of the perfect place and the perfect team that will allow me to create in all forms of art that I do now and yet, make a lot of money to achieve what I want.

It's like... taking my talent into the world of really rich people and taking the money that comes from them... and giving it to the poor. I have decided I am going to be a subtle, modern day Robin Hood.

The beauty of where I was showed me what I want to do. The beauty of where I am now showed me what I can do.

One step at a time.