Someone once said that when you try to battle your inner demons they get worse. That if you are trying to fight with your pain body, that it just holds on tighter. Today is an example of that day. The truth is I like it. I need these days. But then I think, will this just distance me more? Don't I look normal? Why is it then that I just don't want to be around many people that often? It's funny because whichever work I choose, I surround myself with people. I can be myself in that work environment and I never feel wrong being around everyone, socializing, delegating... But you take me out of that work situation and I can't enjoy it as much. I'm a little homebody. I go to work to be around people. I come home to be alone. I think of my dad. He doesn't have any friends except for his neighbours at the cottage, his family.. me. He's happy. I think the issue is still that at our age we try to fit in because that's what seems right. At my age, I don't think I'm like that. I need to be around fewer people so I don't have to feel a need to fit in because truthfully I don't care. It's all a show anyway. We're mostly ourselves when we're alone. Or maybe with that one special person. But even then... the time when you can most be yourself, free of any other thought, other voice, other influences, is when you're with you. Your demons and your thoughts and your feelings are the ones that know you best. They always said the path to enlightenment can be lonely. They said that sometimes you have to walk your own path to know yourself and be happy. It's a sacrifice many people are unwilling to take, which is why many people are truly unhappy. Then there is me. I find everything in myself that makes me unhappy and I sit there. I bath in it and I analyze everything that it is. I want to know where it comes from. I want to know how it feels and where in my body it touches. I know it's not permanent, but I want to know it anyway. Because when I'm happy, I'm really, really happy. The world and it's beauty touches me in ways that no human being can. I sang a song today... freestyled it with the guitar. One line in it went "What makes me happiest isn't the same as what makes most. And I try to fit in to this society I'm living in but I won't and I'll be alone until I'm old."
I accept that feeling. It's real. No one knows how to feel anymore. No one wants to... they just bury it in other things that numb them. Don't feel bad for me when I'm sad. I'm doing all of it myself because I like it.
Mailyne - Visual Art.Modeling.Photography.Video.Writing.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
unresolved
So what is the matter then?
So screwed up in the mind.
I can't even explain.
I probably hate you and I fake to be kind.
Is that the case. Or is it so with a bottle of Tanduay.
You are angry you can't fit in and angry that you hurt within.
You want to be alone but you die for the company.
You sit on the fence and scream to be on both sides.
I think you suck.
That is all I have to say right now.
Because you don't know how to be you.
So screwed up in the mind.
I can't even explain.
I probably hate you and I fake to be kind.
Is that the case. Or is it so with a bottle of Tanduay.
You are angry you can't fit in and angry that you hurt within.
You want to be alone but you die for the company.
You sit on the fence and scream to be on both sides.
I think you suck.
That is all I have to say right now.
Because you don't know how to be you.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Camiguin
The View from the Side of the Road
Camiguin Island
2010
A Bottle of Paper and Plastic
Enigmata TreeHouse
Mambajao, Camiguin Island
2010
The Sunken Cemetary
Camiguin Island
2010
Fishermen
Camiguin Island
2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Enigmata TreeHouse in Mumbajao, Camiguin Island
The walkway from the entrance of Enigmata
The inside of the main area
I have had the pleasure of experiencing a place like no other, but with hopes that there will be more like it. This humble ecolodge tucked away in the forest of Maubog, Balbog, Mumbajao, Camiguin Island has brought me inspiration and a sense of peace. And I soaked up those forests as much as I could. Ok, well technically it's not really a forest, but the entrance is so neatly hidden among the foliage of flowering vines, giant leaves and palms and green, luscious grass that it reminded me of the Secret Garden.
Enigmata is a center dedicated to sustainable living, creativity, and fostering knowledge and imagination in children. It was started by a few humble artists and musicians, whom I have yet to really have the honor of getting to know. But walking around the camp, you can almost sense their presence and hear their inner voices. I explored, excitedly, every nook and cranny, soaking up as much inspiration and imagining the thoughts of the creators as they created this place. Vines grew with wild abandon over the mixture of wood and bamboo, providing shade in almost every part of the camp. The walls were all different, intricate designs fashioned from bottles, wooden support beams of branches preserved in their natural state. Every bit constructed with love and adding to the atmosphere and homey feel the place had.
There were various rooms which we could sleep in, the eagles room, the bartenders room or the backpackers room. We stayed in the backpackers room, which meant we climbed up wooden stairs, fashioned out of imperfect planks of wood to our bed protected by a mosquito net. It really felt like the best TreeHouse I've ever been in. Art adorned the whole encampment, from the plants, the walls, the floors, to the paintings, to the necklaces, to the lights. Energy efficient lightbulbs were used and recycled plastic made up a few lamps, walls and even ceiling decorations. The bottles which were lined in the walls, made way for a colorful room when the sun shone through it. A murky looking pool gave shelter to about 5 turtles, all happily swimming around and poking their heads up to stare at us. There were cats and dogs roaming free, all well-fed, presumably off the mice that would visit us in the night and any leftovers the kitchen would have. You could smell the trees, hear the wind and feel the earth around you. If you needed a place to clear your mind and your heart, this place is it. There are no air conditioners and yet we were surprising cool, even as we slept. We would wake up to a cacophony of roosters, birds, cows, and other foreign animals as the sun broke through the loft in which we slept. We felt perfectly safe and comfortable.
But don't expect a full service resort. This is a little humble home to a few artists and musicians that try to live by the day. You won't always get what you want because they maybe will only go to the market once a day. If that. They waste nothing, but their foods are incredibly fresh and delicious. Our 3 days only gave us time to try for breakfast: the green omelette, made with tomatoes, onions, wild ferns and cheese, a pinoy medley of fried rice and eggs, and french toast and natural lemonade, and for dinner: a banana shake, a fresh, delicious veggie pizza, and 2 types of pasta, my favourite being the pasta basilica. For lunch we made it into town, stopping at a restaurant by the ocean. The days were filled with visiting the Ardent hot springs, a small resort surrounding hot springs and pools. We were told many people come to heal, and I wouldn't doubt it as the warm water seemed to soothe my aches and cleansed my skin. The following day we made it around the whole entire island, making a stop at a cliff which over-looked the Bohol Sea, and the sunken cemetery where a giant cross sits in a bit of an intimidating manner about 50ft from shore and stood 30-40ft high. I felt a little strange thinking about swimming over peoples graves, but we snorkeled around and floated around the giant cross and thankfully there are no skeletons or grave stones. I guess they were all buried underneath the cross. We observed all the fishes which have made their home beside the cross. This place actually had the most fish I've seen in all the places I've snorkeled in the Philippines*.
The whole island is beautiful and in roughly 2 hours you can tour around it. Each area of holds its own romantic aura and leaves room for exploration. The island is surrounded by seven volcanoes, the most famous being Mt. Hibok-Hibok, which rises high in the center of the island and can be seen from miles away. There are tours which allows you to climb it, although you do need to be fit. Camiguin Island is wonderful and I never wanted to leave. Perhaps it was Enigmata, or perhaps it was the whole nature of the place, but it captures a large part you and leaves an imprint in your heart. I will be back there again and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to visit. It just so happened it was on Thanksgiving.To visit the lodge or learn more, please check out their website:
http://camiguinecolodge.com/
*I suppose there haven't been many places I've snorkeled, but you can see the dead reefs and the over fishing done here is quite alarming and really turns me off from eating fish.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Being silent
It's my second day of trying to be quiet and it's really hard not to speak.
I wonder if the little girl I met in Southern Leyte wants to speak all the time.
She's apparently a mute, but to me she's perfect.
When I first got off the bangka and met her on the beach, she just smiled and walked in the water next to me.
Her silence, even though it would be a "condition" was special.
It's special when you can be silent and still feel a presence... being able to communicate with no sound and still expel love. That's special.
Anyway, I realized that I try to speak more when I'm angry, but it's the best time for me to recognize my emotions. When you're angry most of the time you just want to speak it out loud and often in results in someone feeling hurt... or whatever. The damage is often on yourself because you don't recognize what it is that is making you angry. Just yesterday, my first day being silent, I learned that being angry is just an energy. And it can be laughed at, especially when you can feel the signs that your body sends you.
It was nice to know that my friends respected it. I met up with them in a cafe for lunch today, and everyone talked to me normally anyway... and laughed when I tried to reply in the form of charades.
I carry a pen and paper with me and when I bring it out, it's often the sign that I've failed in charades communication. It's funny though.. communication is often what we have problems with as humans, even when we can speak out loud. I wonder what I'll learn out of all this, and how long it will continue for, but I'm really enjoying it. It's fun and really interesting. I think maybe in the end it will just teach me how to listen more... to myself and others. A lot of people really don't have anything important to say... they just like to fill in the silence. I think when I do speak, it will have to worth talking about.
Tomorrow I will be going to Camiguin. It's a little island just north of Mindanao. The place where I'll be staying at is a little resort called Enigmata, which is dedicated to art and sustainable living. They hold workshops for kids on the weekend and I spoke to the artists and the owner. They told me I could do art with the kids. The best part about being with children and doing art, is no one has to say anything.
This is the type of place where I can be in silence and be at peace... I'll have to tell you how it goes.
If you want to see where I'll be, check out their website:
Enigmata TreeHouse Eco lodge
I wonder if the little girl I met in Southern Leyte wants to speak all the time.
She's apparently a mute, but to me she's perfect.
When I first got off the bangka and met her on the beach, she just smiled and walked in the water next to me.
Her silence, even though it would be a "condition" was special.
It's special when you can be silent and still feel a presence... being able to communicate with no sound and still expel love. That's special.
Anyway, I realized that I try to speak more when I'm angry, but it's the best time for me to recognize my emotions. When you're angry most of the time you just want to speak it out loud and often in results in someone feeling hurt... or whatever. The damage is often on yourself because you don't recognize what it is that is making you angry. Just yesterday, my first day being silent, I learned that being angry is just an energy. And it can be laughed at, especially when you can feel the signs that your body sends you.
It was nice to know that my friends respected it. I met up with them in a cafe for lunch today, and everyone talked to me normally anyway... and laughed when I tried to reply in the form of charades.
I carry a pen and paper with me and when I bring it out, it's often the sign that I've failed in charades communication. It's funny though.. communication is often what we have problems with as humans, even when we can speak out loud. I wonder what I'll learn out of all this, and how long it will continue for, but I'm really enjoying it. It's fun and really interesting. I think maybe in the end it will just teach me how to listen more... to myself and others. A lot of people really don't have anything important to say... they just like to fill in the silence. I think when I do speak, it will have to worth talking about.
Tomorrow I will be going to Camiguin. It's a little island just north of Mindanao. The place where I'll be staying at is a little resort called Enigmata, which is dedicated to art and sustainable living. They hold workshops for kids on the weekend and I spoke to the artists and the owner. They told me I could do art with the kids. The best part about being with children and doing art, is no one has to say anything.
This is the type of place where I can be in silence and be at peace... I'll have to tell you how it goes.
If you want to see where I'll be, check out their website:
Enigmata TreeHouse Eco lodge
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Childrens Village in Southern Leyte
This past weekend we spent with the kids from the Childrens Village and my heart hurts. They taught me so much in so little time, just about life and love.
We left Mactan on Friday around 10a.m. with Lets Share TV on an adventure I will never forget. I boarded the boat with 2 Americans, 1 lady from Holland, a young male missionary from Spain, a half malaysian-filipino and a Belgium music producer. Eric, part owner of Lets Share had sent out a message to anyone who wanted to join the trip to Leyte and I was lucky enough to receive it. His mission is to help others, help others and by building a network of people, it will help charitable organizations be known and receive assistance from others. Sounds like my exact type of work.
The boat was set to sail for Southern Leyte, where we would be docking at a little fishing village near Padre Burgos. It took about 4 hours on the bright yellow Lets Share bangka and we were all happy to leave the mugginess of Mactan and have the wind flying through our hair and the taste of the sea in our mouths. The air of the ocean felt amazing as we headed into the vastness of the ocean.
We arrived on the most peaceful fishing village, where palm trees just lined the entire beach strip and all you could see was a tiny wisp of smoke from a near by campfire. Well... in the Philippines it's just a pile of burning garbage, but anyway. Tired from the journey and the excitement from the night before, I ate and went straight to bed to prepare for the next morning. 16 children from the village would be arriving at 10a.m. to join us on the Lets Share bangka for a day of swimming at Limasawa Island. Limasawa actually translates to Five Wives, though I am not sure exactly why.
The next morning we woke up feeling refreshed and as we sat finishing our breakfast, the children showed up at the entrance of the resort. The little faces stared at us in wonder and their little heads bobbed up and down with their bright eyes scanning each and every one of us. They were all wearing yellow Lets Share t-shirts given to them from the last visit and they held on to each others hands waiting for the next adventure. There was one House Mother, Brinda and a House Father, Angel that joined us on the 20 minute bangka trip to Limasawa.
The weather hadn't looked promising but as soon as we reached the island, the sun came out and smiled upon us. Perfect timing! The kids wasted no time and the ones who could swim jumped straight into the warm, green water. We gave out snorkels and masks and used the boat as a jungle gym, laughing and playing in the water. I ended up teaching one little girl how to swim and giving her encouragement. she kicked around happily and managed to give me a swollen eye with her left foot by accident, but it was worth it. We swam for 3 hours only to pause for lunch which was brought out on to the boat.
They were so eager to get back in the water, trying to pull me back in but I was eager to bring out my paint. So I did. I only had 4 paintbrushes, so myself and the others had to finger paint, which actually worked out alright and there were no complaints. Oh how talented these little ones were. They were so full of excitement and happiness, dipping their little fingers into the colours and mixing all of them together. I taught them primary and secondary colours and they happily created flowers, boats, blobs and whatever their little minds could think of. I asked them all to sign their name and show the camera their artwork. Even the house mother and the girlfriend of Eric, painted. And when we were finished, they all helped clean up and place their paintings in a neat row so they could dry. They even took the brushes and rinsed off all the paint and wiped up spilt paint with their wet bathing suits since they would be jumping back into the ocean anyway. How cute!
The day ended sooner than we wanted, but they didn't complain as they changed back into dry clothing and watched the ocean as the boat took them back to their island. We were all exhausted but happy. It was time to go, but we waved good-bye and promised them we would be back with them tomorrow.
Kyle and I ended the day laying out on the beach watching the night fishermen, listening to the ocean and staring up at all the foreign constellations. We saw a few shooting stars and the sky was full of the Milky Way. We lay there long enough to watch the stars move across their dark blanket. I found one constellation which stretched across the whole sky.
Anytime I look at the stars I am always reminded of last summer when I watched the sun set over the Grand Canyon and became enveloped in the darkness. I will never know darkness like I did that night and I wonder if that is how it felt right before the Big Bang happened.
we fell soundly asleep in our beds as there was a brand new day ahead of us tomorrow. We would be visiting the beach where the kids often played and then make a trip to their homes.
At noon the next day we got picked up by Jeurgen Schneidt. He is the founder and the president of KinderHilfe Philippines, Childrens Village and is basically a saint. He has devoted over 25 years of his time to helping hundreds of children receive love, care, shelter, education and medical attention. With very little sponsorship and donations, he has still managed to create a village with 10 homes that could house 14-16 children, all with House Mothers there 24/7. His wife left him to return back to Germany and so he does this all on his own, with his own pension. His main 3 projects are the Childrens Village, the medical attention where he has managed to actually receive help from doctors in Cebu who operate on his children for FREE! His other project is to build hospitals, schools and day care centres here in Leyte, of course funded entirely on his own.
After spending the day playing games with the children at their beach (which is really nothing but rocks and coral - the best part is the trees and the land) we got the chance to visit their homes, and is it ever beautiful. The love, and the care the children get really is incredible and the homes are really very beautiful. If I had been placed in a foster home, I would have loved this one. I spoke to the House Father the previous day and he had told me that the children do have families, however they are temporarily placed in this institution after they have been assessed. If the child's family can not provide for the child financially, physically or spiritually, they are brought to the village until they are graduated high school. Around that time they are released back to their families. However many come back in the summer to help the village or receive sponsorship for college. If they have no place to return to, then of course they can stay in the village.
The people who work here are amazing. They work non-stop 24/7. I got the chance to meet the newest member of the village, a one month year old baby boy. One little girl brought me into the house to meet him and I spent time with one of the House Mothers, where she told me life is hard and it's a lot of work, but she says it is definitely worth it. Jeurgen says it's quite difficult sometimes though because on several occasions he has had to let staff and house mothers go because they were caught stealing donation money. Jeurgen said the money is hard to come by, but when you see the wall of achievements, it's incredible that he could do so much just out of his own pocket. He has sacrificed so much for these little kids, but he is so happy to do it. It's amazing.
And when you see the kids... the moment we stepped out of the car they came running and smiling and laughing. They waited patiently as Jeurgen showed us around and once we were done with the adults, the kids from the previous day pulled us into the grass and jumped on us begging us to play. So we did. They were so curious, asking us what our favourite songs were, our favourite games.. anything they could think of. We jumped around, spun around, danced, sang.. I taught them 'I feel Good' by James Brown and they told me stories, how long they have been there, what they do, who visited them... and how very few people come to see them. Some days they feel trapped, but most days they are so happy knowing they are being cared for and that they are loved and they can look forward to the day when Eric brings people to visit and play with them. At 7pm the kids get ready to go to bed as they have school very early the next day... so sadly, we had to say good-bye. They asked, when are we coming back? And I had to be honest and say, I don't know... but I will not forget you. I gave whatever I had on me to the girls. My sandals, my hair elastic... my love. They told me they would miss me. They would miss us... and a few held our hands and cried as we walked to the car. Oh, how my heart hurt. I can see the sadness in their eyes and on their face... how much they want to leave with us, but they can't.
I wondered if they felt anything like I did when I was a kid. If they feel abandoned and if they truly understand what their parents are trying to do for them. I hope when they are older they can, but the best part about the Childrens Village, is really just the amount of love and support they have from each other. In a community where everyone is experiencing the same thing, it's so wonderful they can be together to help each other through it.
I'll be going back again, for sure. This time with more remembrances for everyone. The kids call items you give them remembrances. Jeurgen is also getting old and he fights the corruption here in the Philippines, but one day, he says, he knows he will be gone and what will happen then? None of the money will go to really helping the children.. but anyway he says, until that day he will continue on strongly supporting these children on his own.
If you ever want to go see him and his kids, they would love it. They will open your heart, break it in half and glue it back together stronger. That's what those kids do... If you want to support, please make a donation. He is someone I admire, and who I will try to support as much as possible. You can contact him on his website:
You may also contact me or Eric from Lets Share TV if there is anything you would like to do to help.
Kinderhilfe Philippens, Childrens Village
Padre Burgos, Southern Leyte
http://kinderhilfe.zdf.de
We left Mactan on Friday around 10a.m. with Lets Share TV on an adventure I will never forget. I boarded the boat with 2 Americans, 1 lady from Holland, a young male missionary from Spain, a half malaysian-filipino and a Belgium music producer. Eric, part owner of Lets Share had sent out a message to anyone who wanted to join the trip to Leyte and I was lucky enough to receive it. His mission is to help others, help others and by building a network of people, it will help charitable organizations be known and receive assistance from others. Sounds like my exact type of work.
The boat was set to sail for Southern Leyte, where we would be docking at a little fishing village near Padre Burgos. It took about 4 hours on the bright yellow Lets Share bangka and we were all happy to leave the mugginess of Mactan and have the wind flying through our hair and the taste of the sea in our mouths. The air of the ocean felt amazing as we headed into the vastness of the ocean.
We arrived on the most peaceful fishing village, where palm trees just lined the entire beach strip and all you could see was a tiny wisp of smoke from a near by campfire. Well... in the Philippines it's just a pile of burning garbage, but anyway. Tired from the journey and the excitement from the night before, I ate and went straight to bed to prepare for the next morning. 16 children from the village would be arriving at 10a.m. to join us on the Lets Share bangka for a day of swimming at Limasawa Island. Limasawa actually translates to Five Wives, though I am not sure exactly why.
The next morning we woke up feeling refreshed and as we sat finishing our breakfast, the children showed up at the entrance of the resort. The little faces stared at us in wonder and their little heads bobbed up and down with their bright eyes scanning each and every one of us. They were all wearing yellow Lets Share t-shirts given to them from the last visit and they held on to each others hands waiting for the next adventure. There was one House Mother, Brinda and a House Father, Angel that joined us on the 20 minute bangka trip to Limasawa.
The weather hadn't looked promising but as soon as we reached the island, the sun came out and smiled upon us. Perfect timing! The kids wasted no time and the ones who could swim jumped straight into the warm, green water. We gave out snorkels and masks and used the boat as a jungle gym, laughing and playing in the water. I ended up teaching one little girl how to swim and giving her encouragement. she kicked around happily and managed to give me a swollen eye with her left foot by accident, but it was worth it. We swam for 3 hours only to pause for lunch which was brought out on to the boat.
They were so eager to get back in the water, trying to pull me back in but I was eager to bring out my paint. So I did. I only had 4 paintbrushes, so myself and the others had to finger paint, which actually worked out alright and there were no complaints. Oh how talented these little ones were. They were so full of excitement and happiness, dipping their little fingers into the colours and mixing all of them together. I taught them primary and secondary colours and they happily created flowers, boats, blobs and whatever their little minds could think of. I asked them all to sign their name and show the camera their artwork. Even the house mother and the girlfriend of Eric, painted. And when we were finished, they all helped clean up and place their paintings in a neat row so they could dry. They even took the brushes and rinsed off all the paint and wiped up spilt paint with their wet bathing suits since they would be jumping back into the ocean anyway. How cute!
The day ended sooner than we wanted, but they didn't complain as they changed back into dry clothing and watched the ocean as the boat took them back to their island. We were all exhausted but happy. It was time to go, but we waved good-bye and promised them we would be back with them tomorrow.
Kyle and I ended the day laying out on the beach watching the night fishermen, listening to the ocean and staring up at all the foreign constellations. We saw a few shooting stars and the sky was full of the Milky Way. We lay there long enough to watch the stars move across their dark blanket. I found one constellation which stretched across the whole sky.
Anytime I look at the stars I am always reminded of last summer when I watched the sun set over the Grand Canyon and became enveloped in the darkness. I will never know darkness like I did that night and I wonder if that is how it felt right before the Big Bang happened.
we fell soundly asleep in our beds as there was a brand new day ahead of us tomorrow. We would be visiting the beach where the kids often played and then make a trip to their homes.
At noon the next day we got picked up by Jeurgen Schneidt. He is the founder and the president of KinderHilfe Philippines, Childrens Village and is basically a saint. He has devoted over 25 years of his time to helping hundreds of children receive love, care, shelter, education and medical attention. With very little sponsorship and donations, he has still managed to create a village with 10 homes that could house 14-16 children, all with House Mothers there 24/7. His wife left him to return back to Germany and so he does this all on his own, with his own pension. His main 3 projects are the Childrens Village, the medical attention where he has managed to actually receive help from doctors in Cebu who operate on his children for FREE! His other project is to build hospitals, schools and day care centres here in Leyte, of course funded entirely on his own.
After spending the day playing games with the children at their beach (which is really nothing but rocks and coral - the best part is the trees and the land) we got the chance to visit their homes, and is it ever beautiful. The love, and the care the children get really is incredible and the homes are really very beautiful. If I had been placed in a foster home, I would have loved this one. I spoke to the House Father the previous day and he had told me that the children do have families, however they are temporarily placed in this institution after they have been assessed. If the child's family can not provide for the child financially, physically or spiritually, they are brought to the village until they are graduated high school. Around that time they are released back to their families. However many come back in the summer to help the village or receive sponsorship for college. If they have no place to return to, then of course they can stay in the village.
The people who work here are amazing. They work non-stop 24/7. I got the chance to meet the newest member of the village, a one month year old baby boy. One little girl brought me into the house to meet him and I spent time with one of the House Mothers, where she told me life is hard and it's a lot of work, but she says it is definitely worth it. Jeurgen says it's quite difficult sometimes though because on several occasions he has had to let staff and house mothers go because they were caught stealing donation money. Jeurgen said the money is hard to come by, but when you see the wall of achievements, it's incredible that he could do so much just out of his own pocket. He has sacrificed so much for these little kids, but he is so happy to do it. It's amazing.
And when you see the kids... the moment we stepped out of the car they came running and smiling and laughing. They waited patiently as Jeurgen showed us around and once we were done with the adults, the kids from the previous day pulled us into the grass and jumped on us begging us to play. So we did. They were so curious, asking us what our favourite songs were, our favourite games.. anything they could think of. We jumped around, spun around, danced, sang.. I taught them 'I feel Good' by James Brown and they told me stories, how long they have been there, what they do, who visited them... and how very few people come to see them. Some days they feel trapped, but most days they are so happy knowing they are being cared for and that they are loved and they can look forward to the day when Eric brings people to visit and play with them. At 7pm the kids get ready to go to bed as they have school very early the next day... so sadly, we had to say good-bye. They asked, when are we coming back? And I had to be honest and say, I don't know... but I will not forget you. I gave whatever I had on me to the girls. My sandals, my hair elastic... my love. They told me they would miss me. They would miss us... and a few held our hands and cried as we walked to the car. Oh, how my heart hurt. I can see the sadness in their eyes and on their face... how much they want to leave with us, but they can't.
I wondered if they felt anything like I did when I was a kid. If they feel abandoned and if they truly understand what their parents are trying to do for them. I hope when they are older they can, but the best part about the Childrens Village, is really just the amount of love and support they have from each other. In a community where everyone is experiencing the same thing, it's so wonderful they can be together to help each other through it.
I'll be going back again, for sure. This time with more remembrances for everyone. The kids call items you give them remembrances. Jeurgen is also getting old and he fights the corruption here in the Philippines, but one day, he says, he knows he will be gone and what will happen then? None of the money will go to really helping the children.. but anyway he says, until that day he will continue on strongly supporting these children on his own.
If you ever want to go see him and his kids, they would love it. They will open your heart, break it in half and glue it back together stronger. That's what those kids do... If you want to support, please make a donation. He is someone I admire, and who I will try to support as much as possible. You can contact him on his website:
You may also contact me or Eric from Lets Share TV if there is anything you would like to do to help.
Kinderhilfe Philippens, Childrens Village
Padre Burgos, Southern Leyte
http://kinderhilfe.zdf.de
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)